No Answers

Oct. 31st, 2010 03:25 pm
seesonlysmoke: (Serious bzns)
He liked living at the rock house. More to the point, he liked living in the same house as Ryan and doing things with her. Over the past few weeks since he'd healed they had grown steadily closer, and while he might not be very experienced, he wasn't totally innocent or an idiot. They had talked of friendship, and they had hugged...no, held each other. He couldn't deny, to himself at least, that he had feelings for her, but he wasn't sure what to do about them. His conservative and religious background made him uncertain how to progress without looking foolish, or even if he should. When he managed to dream, as opposed to the regular nightmares, Ryan was now in them instead of Sufi, but that had gone so wrong with her, he was afraid to have the same thing happen with Ryan. There was Ryan herself. Altaaf could sense she was also dealing with something in her past. Had she been let down by someone and was she still waiting for them to return? Did her 'uncle' Alex have something to do with it? If so, was he prepared to get in the way of that?

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seesonlysmoke: (Ammi's death)
For the past hour Altaaf had been trying to pray. He knelt on his prayer mat in his room at Ryan's rock house, but nothing would come.

This time it wasn't just his own doubts and conflicts with the path he had taken and the lies he had been told in God's name, but a broader picture. While much media had focused on the flooding in Pakistan, he had also seen that heavy rains had also caused similar flooding in Kashmir. And at a time when protests and unrest against the Indian government had sparked violent demonstrations -- protests that Altaaf couldn't but feel a little responsible for having been manipulated by Hilal's lies.

Why was Allah doing this to his people? Was He punishing them for his own mistakes, for the deaths he had caused?

With a heavy sigh and tears in his eyes -- although whether they were for himself or his fellow Kashmiris, not even he was sure-- he stood and rolled up the mat, abandoning his evening prayers for the first time he could remember.

Did Allah not even care?

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Altaaf Khan

November 2012

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